Emeteria, known as “Emy” by all, passed away quietly in her sleep, sometime around noon, in her Pittsburg, California, home on 03 June 2003. She fought a long and courageous battle with Multiple Myeloma (a rare blood cancer), kidney failure and finally, heart failure. She fought the cancer, a cousin to Leukemia, to a standstill, only to fail the heart problem. She was 57 years old.
Emeteria was born on 07 May 1946 in San Antonio, Zambales, the Philippines, in a small sleepy town on the South China Sea, about a four-hour drive northwest of Manila. There she met her husband, Arthur, a career Navy man, in 1966. They were married the same year at the Naval Air Facility Sangely Point in Cavite City (where Arthur was stationed), across the bay from Manila. Arthur always told the story of her first visit to the Base Commissary and Exchange stores. She was so overcome with being in an American style store for the first time, with so many items to choose from, she came back to the house with only four small items. This would quickly be corrected. In later years, she would become an expert, all American, shopper. In fact, shopping would become one of her favorite pastimes.
They enjoyed their stay at Sangely Point. It was a great duty station, very small, you could walk from one end to the other in about 15 minutes, and it was only about a 30-minute boat ride from Manila. The base clubs were outstanding, with well-known, stateside entertainers appearing regularly. Although next to Manila, it was a backwater base as far as the Navy was concerned. Very few Brass (or Naval ships) ever showed up. One day, President Johnson did stop over (on his way to Vietnam) to visit President Marcos for a few hours. During this tour, they first met Johnny & Tessie Gauff. Tessie was a Filipina like Emy, and would remain Emy’s good friend for life. Sadly, Johnny would die at a very young age in 1977, while stationed at the Naval Air Station (NAS) in Lemoore, California, not too far from Fresno.
Like all good things, the duty tour at Sangely Point soon came to an end. The Permanent Change of Station (PCS) gods soon called from Washington. Arthur talked to his Detailer and was offered a choice of Brownsville, Texas, or Brooklyn, New York. No choice at all. In February 1967, they packed up and headed for New York City (NYC). Arthur tried to get Emy prepared for the cold weather in NYC. She had never been in any temperature lower than 70 degrees. He told her all kinds of horror stories about snow and ice (as if he, a boy from Georgia, knew anything about snow and ice). But when they got to NYC in late February, the weather was nice and warm – a false spring. It was that way for several weeks. Emy started to make fun of Arthur about the dire warning about snow and ice. Being from the Philippines, she could not believe that it would get that cold anyway. One afternoon they went to the movies. When the movie ended there was about one inch of snow on the streets. It was the start of one of NYC’s worst late-spring snowstorms in recorded history. The snow came down for days. But Emy & Arthur loved NYC. They lived on St. Johns Place, right off of Flatbush Ave. They rented an apartment in a great old brownstone house that was nice and warm and as strong as Fort Knox. They had a nice Jewish grandmother for a landlord. She took very good care of Emy, taking her around the neighborhood, showing her where to shop and bank. Our place was only a few minutes’ walk from several Mom & Pop grocery stores (who delivered your purchases), a butcher shop, a bank and a subway station. The large Abraham & Straus Department Store was not too far away. Prospect Park was only about ten minutes away. It was a perfect location. They soon taught themselves how to use the great NYC subway system, which allowed them to go quickly into Manhattan. Emy loved Manhattan, especially the lower part. The shopping & dining in Chinatown, the great restaurants, bars, and clubs in Greenwich Village, Little Italy and the fast-developing Soho section, in all, just the great excitement of being in NYC – the greatest city in the world (sorry San Francisco). They will always remember the New Year’s Eve night of 1967 / 68. Times Square was jam-packed (as usual) with people, and it was very, very cold, with sleet and rain coming down most of the night. Emy had never been so cold before and never would be again. They had a great time getting drunk and being crazy, like the other hundreds of thousands of people there. Everyone should spend at least one New Year’s Eve in Times Square.
By then they had moved aboard the Fort Hamilton Army Base, into Military housing, in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn. They had an apartment almost under the Brooklyn end of the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. Living on base was much safer for Emy. They soon purchased a new 1968 Chevy Camaro V8. On Arthur’s weekends off (which came on Mondays and Tuesdays – he worked the normal weekend days, training Naval Reserves), they would drive to upper state New York or over into New England. They soon discovered that Johnny & Tessie Gauff were stationed down in Maryland at the Naval Air Test Center Patuxent River. They drove down to visit them and also stopped over in Washington D.C. on their way back to New York.
In August of 1968, Arthur asked Washington for an early transfer. Although they loved NYC, he was bored with the training duty job. His Detailer offered him duty in a squadron at NAS Oceana, Virginia Beach, Virginia, or a secret Reconnaissance Squadron (VQ-3) out of Guam. He wanted to get back to Asia, so he took Guam. Emy and Arthur left Brooklyn in November 1968 on their way to Atlanta to visit his mother, Connie. As they went over the Verrazano Bridge, he remembered Emy looking over toward lower Manhattan and saying she wanted to return some day. He promised her they would, but she would never return. As they drove down to Atlanta and the South, a place that Arthur had not visited in over ten years, he wondered (and feared) what the South would be like in 1968. In 1968, they were still killing people of color there and he didn’t want to expose Emy to the hate and evil of the place. They spent twelve days in Atlanta. Emy and his family got along very well. They all fell in love with her. During this period, Emy fell in love with Southern cooking (his Mom, Connie, was a great cook), especially bacon, scrambled eggs and grits. She could eat grits every morning. After a great stay in Atlanta (it had greatly changed since 1958), they drove across the country to the San Francisco Bay area. In 1968, Emy could not drive so he had to do it all. The Chevy was great, so it was lots of fun. He was happy that she got to see America up close during the four trips she would make (by land) across this great big country.
Things were tough for Emy in Guam until they got base housing and the car arrived. Guam in 1968 was a far different place from what it is today in 2003. Back then, there were only two hotels on the island. One was a run-down, third-rate motel-like place for the general public; the other was for the flight crews (only) of Pan American Airlines. There was hardly anything for the general public to do. Guam was classified as Hardship duty by the Navy. Back in those days, a non-resident civilian had to get permission from the Navy Department just to visit Guam – sort of like the old USSR. Today, Guam is a major vacation spot for Asia, with four-star hotels all over the place. After their car arrived and they got base housing, things improved greatly for Emy. She could now drive, but still didn’t have a license. His squadron had to keep one aircraft deployed off-island at all times, so he had to do lots of traveling. Emy began to enjoy her stay on Guam, but it was hard on the wives – there was nothing for them to do on the island. In May of 1970, they decided that she would go home so that his tour on Guam could be cut short. He moved into the Chief Petty Officer barrack (after Emy left) for the rest of the tour.
In October of 1970, they were united when he got orders to NAS Cubi Point at Subic Bay Philippines. This was a great, but demanding, tour for both of them. He had to work a 12-hour day, six days per week. NAS Cubi Point was the number-one support base for the Aircraft Carriers and other Naval aviation in Vietnam. But Emy had her family near and he had a great, but demanding job. Life was good. In 1971, Richard (their son) came into their lives. Johnny & Tessie Gauff were also at Cubi Point. They introduced them to their friends, Eddie & Selma Harris. Selma would also remain Emy’s friend for the rest of her life.
But soon the PCS gods were calling and Arthur didn’t get a choice this time. He had to report to a Fighter Squadron (VF-124) at NAS Miramar in San Diego, where the new F-14 Tomcat would make its first appearance in the Navy. VF-124 would make the F-14 operational in 1973. They left the Philippines on November 1972 after selling the 1968 Chevy for the same price they paid for it in 1968. They arranged to have a new 1973 red Z28 Chevy waiting for them in the Bay Area. A car they still have in the garage to this day. After arriving in the Bay Area, Emy and Richard flew to Atlanta to stay with his mother, until they had housing in San Diego. By late January, Emy and Richard were in San Diego, where they lived in very sub-standard Navy housing. In June of 1973, Arthur’s mother called and told him to come home; his grandmother Naomi, who raised him, was sick and not expected to live much longer, Emy, Richard and Arthur piled into the Z28 and drove to Atlanta. It would be Emy’s last trip to Atlanta and across America.
The waiting list for good naval housing in San Diego took forever. Emy loved San Diego. She loved the great Zoo, Sea World, the warm weather, the many Commissary and Exchange stores, and being just a short drive from Mexico. But not Arthur. San Diego is too Military, too Navy, too right-wing for his taste. Anyway, he (he always liked to say) was a Northern California / Bay Area kind of a guy.
Sometime in the spring of 1974, they decided it was time for Arthur to retire from the Navy, so they decided to buy a house while he was still on active duty. They wanted to live in the Bay Area, so Arthur called his Detailer and made a deal. He would stay on active duty two extra years, if they could get duty in the Bay Area. The Detailer agreed and soon they had orders to an Anti-Sub Squadron (VP-48) operating out of NAS Moffett Field, near San Jose. Arthur & Emy were soon making weekend trips up Interstate-5 to the Bay Area looking for a house to buy. They soon located a house, and a loan was approved. Emy & Richard were soon out of the sub-par housing into a new home in Pittsburg, California. Arthur followed about two months later. By now, Emy had her driver’s license – a good thing. Emy took care of everything while he was gone, all the shopping, paying the bills, etc. By then, they had discovered that Eddie & Selma Harris were out of the Navy and living in Pittsburg. Emy also had an uncle living in the area – plus she met many other people who would remain her friends until the end.
After Arthur retired from active duty in February 1976, they purchased a new car for Emy and she began working at the Sheraton Hotel in Concord, California. She would work there until August 1996, when her illness forced her to retire. She was a good Union member and a very hard worker. She won the Best Employee of the Month Award several times over the years. Emy became an American citizen on 14 March 1979. She was very proud to be an American, but she always maintained her love for her family in the Philippines and a love for her native country. She never forgot her roots. She would always remain a poor girl from the Barrio Burgos. She made phone calls frequently to her sisters in the Philippines and sent boxes of food and gifts regularly. Over the years, she returned to the Philippines several times on vacations, the last being on 17 April 2001, for almost a month. In April of 2003, she renewed her passport and driver’s license for another trip to the Philippines. She was planning on leaving as soon as she felt better, but it was not to be.
During the summer of 1977, Arthur’s mother, Connie, came to visit them from Atlanta. Of course, he had to take Connie and Emy to all of the sights around the Bay Area. One was the Golden Gate Bridge. Although he first came to the Bay Area in April 1955, he never told them that he had never been on the Bridge before – under it many times on aircraft carriers, but never on it. Later they took his mother down the beautiful Pacific Coast Highway to Los Angeles, so she could visit her auntie. He always said: his mom disappointed him – she actually liked LA. Although, in all other things, she showed such great taste. They left his Mom in LA and drove home; his Mom would fly to Atlanta later after staying with her aunt. Emy and Connie would never meet again. They would talk many times on the phone. His Mom would become very ill in the mid-1980s and pass away in March 1992, about the time Emy’s health began to decline. Emy’s mother, Guillerma Flores Estrada, would pass away on 29 December 1988.
At first, Emy’s illness didn’t seem serious or present any known patterns. She had always had her aches and pains, including headaches. She would go to the Naval hospital about once a month for some type of pain. Arthur knew things were getting bad when she would sometimes miss going to work. But the doctors couldn’t discover anything wrong. It was always misdiagnosed as some form of Arthritis or, later, as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. She had two operations on both arms for the suspected Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Of course, the operations didn’t work. In 1996, the pain in her arms and legs became unbearable. She started missing more days at work and had many doctor appointments at the Kaiser Medical Center. Over the months she saw many different doctors, but none could help her. She even had to stop bowling. By August of 1996, she could not work any more and had to retire. She kept going to the doctors, but they couldn’t do anything for her. A few doctors even suggested that she was faking her pain. That quickly stopped after Arthur paid them a visit. To compound the situation, in late July of 1997, Arthur became very ill on a business trip to Japan and almost died. He was in the hospital for over two weeks. To this day, he believes his illness helped bring on Emy’s health problems. He believed it was just too much stress on her. During the last week of November 1997, she was at the ER four times – the last time on Saturday night, when a sharp doctor referred her to Dr. McLeod on the following Tuesday, 02 December 1997. He will always remember the afternoon when Emy told him she had cancer – a cancer he had never heard of. He called Dr. McLeod and got the bad news. It was incurable and she told him that Emy could expect to live about three to five years. He was never the same again and of course, Emy started on that long, painful road toward 03 June 2003.
She started her chemotherapy in January 1998, but none of it worked for Emy. No remission, but the cancer didn’t seem to be getting any worse, either. Just when her cancer seemed to stabilize, her kidney failed (from all the chemotherapy?) and she had to go on dialysis. As she was becoming accustomed to the three dialyses per week, she had a heart attack. There was nothing the doctors could do for her heart – they could not operate. The chest pain began to occur frequently. Three serious, terminal diseases was just too much for her strong spirit to bear.
The last week of Emy’s life seemed to be as normal as before. She went to her 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. dialysis on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. After the Saturday dialysis, she had Richard take her to a Filipino restaurant in Vallejo, California, several miles away. They got home around 6:00 p.m. She usually went to Bingo on one of the weekend nights. This time, she did not leave the house at all. On Monday, Arthur had a 10:00 a.m. doctor’s appointment. Richard drove him to the doctor at 9:00 a.m. with instructions for Emy to call them if she did not feel well. They got back to the house around 11:40 a.m. (with sandwiches for lunch) and discovered that she had vacuumed the house while they were gone. Arthur had told her before not to do that. The vacuum machine was too heavy for her to push around. But in his mind he thought that she must be feeling well and strong to do that. To this day, he keeps running 02 June 2003 over and over every day in his mind, trying to get some idea of what happened that day. Was she feeling okay? Why did she try to vacuum the house? Did she want to ensure the house was clean if something did happen? Arthur usually cooked, but she beat him to it and cooked dinner around 4:00 p.m. Their last meal together. Arthur was not feeling well, so he took a nap around 7:30 p.m. The next thing he knew, Emy was waking him up, saying she wasn’t feeling good and had to go to the ER. He got on the phone to call Richard, but she said Mary Scott was on the way to take her. About that time, Mary was at the door and they left for the hospital. He looked at his watch. It was 9:31 p.m. He called his son and told him to hurry to the hospital. She did not get back home until around 4:00 a.m. on 03 June. The ER doctor sent her home. They said the chest pain was not her heart. She still did not feel well, but was under heavy sedation and was soon asleep. She had dialysis at 11:00 a.m., but he was going to let her miss it and go later that afternoon. Around 9:30 a.m., she got up to get Richard ready to take her to dialysis. Arthur told her not to go, that he had made an appointment for later in the day. They got Richard to go and get her prescription filled. He left around 10:30 a.m. Emy went back to sleep around 11:15 a.m. She would never wake up again. Arthur went in to make lunch around 1:15 p.m. and tried to wake her around 1:25 p.m. He could not wake her. He called 911. They were there within minutes. They could not save her. She probably went into cardiac arrest shortly after going to sleep at 11:15 a.m. Arthur keeps asking himself: Why didn’t he sit there and watch her sleeping? He will live with this question for the rest of his life.
Emy loved: Bowling – (she won many trophies over the years) and she bowled until 1996, when it became too painful for her to continue. Bingo – she played Bingo until the end. I hope they have Bingo in Heaven, where she can go play every day and night. Fishing – she hardly ever caught anything, but she never gave up trying; she loved to fish. Playing cards with her girlfriends. Going to Reno and to the Cache Creek Indian Bingo & Casino in Brooks, California. Watching TV – her favorites were The Price is Right, many of the daily soaps, Judge Judy, Jeopardy, The Wheel of Fortune, the Food Channel on cable TV, and many Tagalog programs from Manila TV stations on the satellite dish. Cooking Filipino food (my favorites were Lumpia, Pancit and Pork / Chicken Adobo) and barbecuing. Gardening – till the end, she worried about her plants as much as her own health. Shopping – she could stay in a store for hours and not buy much. Talking on the phone for hours with her girlfriends. Visiting friends or having them over – she just loved being with people, where lots of food was available. She loved life to the fullest.
Arthur & Richard would like to thank all of Emy’s friends for being there for her during the years when she was well and the times when she was sick. Thanks goes out to Mary Scott and her mother Dolores “Dory” Scott (Emy’s close friend). Mary & Dory took Emy to the Emergency Rooms many times when Arthur was unable to take her due to his own health problems – in fact, they took her to the ER on the last night of her life. And a special “thank you” to Mary for helping in organizing everything to do with Emy’s funeral here in California. I know that we could not have made it without Mary’s concern and knowledge about dealing with this type of situation. The same special “thank you” goes to Emy’s beloved sister, Carmelita Estrada Sagpan, who arranged everything in the Philippines, from picking up Emy (and Richard) at the airport in Manila, to keeping Emy in her home until the funeral. And of course for arranging the all-night Wake (and even a marching band to the church), the Mass, and choosing a proper headstone. Carmelita was great and strong in this time of great sorrow for her and her family. A thanks goes out to Ed & Selma Harris (and their kids) for being there since 1971. A thank you to Bruce & Perlita Lang, now living in Florida (who we first met in 1974 when we moved to Pittsburg), for always being close to Emy, and to their kids, Bruce Jr. & Genevieve Lang Gray, who dropped in on me several times to make sure things were OK while Richard was in the Philippines for Emy’s funeral. To Alicia & Gil Rayrao (and their kids) for always being close to Emy, since we first came to Pittsburg, and also for making all the arrangements for the reception at our home after Emy’s funeral. Also for keeping an eye on me here in California since Emy has been gone. A thank you to all family members of Emy here in California: to Mercy Estrada Dozier & family of San Diego; to Tina Estrada and her daughters Gloria, Vergie and Margie (here in Contra Costa County) for being good to Emy for over 30 years; to Natividad “Natty” & Federico Sagpan of Pittsburg for providing a place where Emy could be “close” to her beloved Barrio Burgos at home and going with her on vacations back to the Philippines; to Rowena Estrada, now living in the Middle East; and to all the family and friends in San Antonio, Zambales, who came to pay their respect to Emy at her Wake and Service. To Myrna Burton, her friend over the years; to Tessie Gauff, now living in Las Vegas; to Estella Johnson Jennings, now living in Bremerton, Washington, who befriended Emy shortly after we arrived in Pittsburg in 1974; to Purita Mclure, who was her friend since the early years in Pittsburg; to Qua Johnson, who was her friend since the late 1970s and taught her to enjoy the foods of Vietnam; to Sadako Holland, who was her friend for several years and showed her how to love food from Japan and for taking Emy to Japantown in San Francisco. To all of her friends from the Elk’s Club – a thank you. Emy always enjoyed herself at the Elks. To Emy’s other friends: Julie, Linda, Ladana Luellen, Barbara, Betty, Clarita, her friend Connie, Esililita, Irene, Muna Rudy, Tina Brown, Gloria Cumming, and all of her other many friends who I’m sure were left off this list. Emy knew so many people – thanks to all of you. And to my friends from the Navy Department days: to Ed “Flash” Williams and family (my best friend from the Navy), who I met on active duty in Hawaii way back in 1961 and who now lives in Atlanta – thanks for the concern, card and emails. To my firmer colleagues at the Military Sealift Command, Pacific, of Oakland, California (since moved to San Diego): Larcender Williams, Pat Magallano, Chief Petty Officer Clarence Cornelius and Hazel Snell (all from the San Diego area) – thanks for the kind emails and concern.
Last, but not least, a special thanks to Dr. Beverly F. McLeod, MD (Emy’s oncologist), and her staff, for almost six years of caring and concerned health care. As a rule, Emy didn’t like doctors too well, but she had great respect for Dr. McLeod at the Kaiser Medical Center in Walnut Creek, California. She always said that Dr. McLeod was very NICE to hear at all times and she helped her to fight her cancer to a standstill. To the Kaiser’s Infusion Clinic in Martinez, California – thank you, and the same goes to the dialysis staff at the Davita Company in Walnut Creek. All of you helped Emy to live out her last years as comfortably as possible. And I cannot forget to thank that unknown ER doctor who pointed Emy in the right direction (i.e. to Dr. McLeod) back in late November of 1997.
Emy is survived by her husband of 37 years, Arthur Young Jr., and their son Richard E. Young, both of Pittsburg, California. Three sisters, Cienana E. Blanco, Caytana E. Sagpan, and Carmelita E. Sagpan; and three brothers, Hipolipo Estrada, Nicholas Estrada, and Santos Estrada, all of San Antonio, Zambales, the Philippines; and many nieces and nephews living in countries around the world. Her beloved parents, Jose Estrada and Guillerma Flores Estrada, preceded her in death, along with three of her siblings and her great dog “Ace,” who died on 31 August 2001. Ace was her friend, protector and companion for over 17 years.
A viewing was held in Pittsburg, California, on 06 June 2003 from 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. The service was from 5:00 to 5:45 p.m. at the Pittsburg Funeral Chapel. A reception was held at Emy’s home after the services. Richard escorted her to the Philippines on 12 June 2003, arriving on 14 June. Emy stayed in her sister’s home until a Wake was held on the night of 17 June. Emy’s funeral was conducted at 1:00 p.m. on 18 June, at the Philippines’ Independent Church of San Antonio. She was laid to rest on a rainy afternoon at the San Antonio Municipal Cemetery near her beloved mother and father, around 2:30 p.m. The Deguzman Funeral Home of San Antonio, Zambales, handled all arrangements in the Philippines.
If you would like to honor Emy by helping to cure the diseases that brought so much pain to her life, please make a donation to one of the following medical research foundations:
The Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation
No. 3 Forrest Street
New Canaan, CT 06840
Phone: 203-972-1250
National Kidney Foundation
30 East 33rd Street, Suite 1100
New York, NY 10016
Phone: 800-622-9010 or 212-889-2210
American Heart Association
7272 Greenville Avenue
Dallas, TX 75231-4596
Phone: 00-242-8721
Emy, may your soul rest in peace, free from the constant pain you suffered in life. We will always love and remember you darling, for your great love of people; for your great love of life; and for your great courage, strength and toughness. In life, you showed us how to live and in death, you showed us how to die. Vaya Con Dios my darling. I’ll be joining you soon.
